American Tourist en route to Connemara looking for “the craic”

Samuel Patrick O’Lafferty from New England has just bought his Irish Rail tickets from Heuston Station to Galway and plans on arriving in Connemara this evening. “Yeah dude, I was in Copper’s last night and everybody there was talking about like the ‘craic’ they had in Connemara when they were teenagers” said Mr. O’Lafferty. “I’m… Read More American Tourist en route to Connemara looking for “the craic”

Catholic Church hosts bake sale to make us forget about Tuam babies

Following revelations that over 700 baby corpses were found in unmarked graves in Tuam, Co. Galway, the Catholic Church in Ireland has hosted a bake sale in the town to make people forget about the horrific incident. Speaking to Eritas news, Fr. Pat O’Reilly of the Team diocese said “Every now and again people uncover… Read More Catholic Church hosts bake sale to make us forget about Tuam babies

“He had chemical weapons” Arab arrested at NYC subway for farting

A US national of Saudi descent by the name of Ahmed Al-Fartaziz has been detained by NYPD this morning for “releasing toxic nerve agents capable of killing thousands” in a cramped subway in the early hours of the morning. Speaking to the press, Chief of Police James O’Neill had the following to say: “Although the man… Read More “He had chemical weapons” Arab arrested at NYC subway for farting

2016 years on, Joseph of Nazareth still not accepted on Jeremy Kyle Show

After applying for the 2016th year in a row, Joseph of Nazareth is beginning to lose his patience. In his annual letter to the producers of the Jeremy Kyle show, the husband of the once-pregnant virgin Mary wrote: “I’m getting fucking fed up. It’s been 2016 years, my wife’s kid has been killed, reborn, even… Read More 2016 years on, Joseph of Nazareth still not accepted on Jeremy Kyle Show

IRA members to receive standard issue Burkhas to help conceal weapons – Minister of Bombs

IRA Minister of Bombs (more formally Minister of Carbombs, Pipebombs and Suicide Vests) Aidan O’Rourke announced today that in an effort to modernise his insurgency, “All IRA members are to get a standard issue Burkha to help conceal their weapons, be it bombs or assault rifles.” “We need to keep up with the times, it’s… Read More IRA members to receive standard issue Burkhas to help conceal weapons – Minister of Bombs