“He had chemical weapons” Arab arrested at NYC subway for farting

A US national of Saudi descent by the name of Ahmed Al-Fartaziz has been detained by NYPD this morning for “releasing toxic nerve agents capable of killing thousands” in a cramped subway in the early hours of the morning. Speaking to the press, Chief of Police James O’Neill had the following to say: “Although the man… Read More “He had chemical weapons” Arab arrested at NYC subway for farting

2016 years on, Joseph of Nazareth still not accepted on Jeremy Kyle Show

After applying for the 2016th year in a row, Joseph of Nazareth is beginning to lose his patience. In his annual letter to the producers of the Jeremy Kyle show, the husband of the once-pregnant virgin Mary wrote: “I’m getting fucking fed up. It’s been 2016 years, my wife’s kid has been killed, reborn, even… Read More 2016 years on, Joseph of Nazareth still not accepted on Jeremy Kyle Show

IRA members to receive standard issue Burkhas to help conceal weapons – Minister of Bombs

IRA Minister of Bombs (more formally Minister of Carbombs, Pipebombs and Suicide Vests) Aidan O’Rourke announced today that in an effort to modernise his insurgency, “All IRA members are to get a standard issue Burkha to help conceal their weapons, be it bombs or assault rifles.” “We need to keep up with the times, it’s… Read More IRA members to receive standard issue Burkhas to help conceal weapons – Minister of Bombs