BREAKING: Man sentenced to life in prison for not waving back on country road

Mick O’Donnell from Co. Offaly has been sentenced to life in prison following a trial which has lasted only 15 minutes.

The jury reached their verdict after a record-short 15 minutes, and found the accused Mr. O’Donnell guilty of “seeing, acknowledging, but not responding to a wave on a country road”, an offence which in Ireland can result in the death penalty.

The Garda who arrested Mr. O’Donnell testified before the court: “We got a call from a distraught lady who was walking her dog up the road, when all of a sudden Mr. O’Donnell appeared over the horizon. The lady in question waved AND nodded at Mr. O’Donnell, to which he did not even so much as raise his index finger from his steering wheel. The poor woman was crying whilst she was on the phone, however we used her location to send in our special unit.”

“Our special unit found Mr. O’Donnell within 5 minutes using a drone, and we had to pursue him in a high-speed car chase. Thankfully, no-one was hurt and we detained him. If I may add, your honour, it’s quite sick what Mr. O’Donnell has done. Nobody should ever have to go through being rejected or denied a wave on a country road. I don’t want my children growing up in a world where these things happen.”

The jury spoke very briefly and unanimously decided that Mr. O’Donnell was guilty and that he should serve life in prison. The jury said he should be “spared the death penalty because he was drink-driving and therefore was not fully capable of realising the emotional distraught he caused the woman who called emergency services”.

Eritas managed to stop Mr. O’Donnell briefly for some questions.

Eritas: “Mr. O’Donnell, is there anything you’d like to say to the lady whose life you ruined?”

Mr. O’Donnell: “I would like to apologise from the bottom of my heart. I was so intoxicated that I didn’t even fully realised she was waving at me. I wish I’d waved back. I suppose I’m grateful the jury understood how locked I was and took it into account when delivering my sentence. I feel horrible. If there’s one thing I can say to everyone out there, it’s that you should always wave on a country road. Don’t be like me, I deserve this punishment.”

Eritas: “The judge said that if you show good behaviour, your sentence could be reduced down to 21 years. Could you elaborate on that?”

Mr. O’Donnell: “Yes. I’ll be doing weekly lessons in prison on waving. First we will practice waving whilst standing, then in slow moving cars, then finally in cars moving at country road speeds and environments. I will do my best to make up for the evil I have done, but I’m not sure how I will ever do that.”

Gardai are calling on anyone who witnesses similar crimes to contact them immediately.

Follow Eritas for more updates and other stories.

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