Catholic Church hosts bake sale to make us forget about Tuam babies

Following revelations that over 700 baby corpses were found in unmarked graves in Tuam, Co. Galway, the Catholic Church in Ireland has hosted a bake sale in the town to make people forget about the horrific incident.

Speaking to Eritas news, Fr. Pat O’Reilly of the Team diocese said “Every now and again people uncover some of the truly sinister things that happened in this country at the hands of the Church. That’s why our PR team was quick to set up a bake sale to make this whole situation blow over quicker.”

“It’s not different to when we gave out St. Brigid’s crosses for free after it was discovered that so many youths were abused by priests. This year we’re using sugar to win back the hearts and souls of the people.”

On offer at the bake sale were chocolate muffins, buns, spongecake, rice krispie buns and of course scones. The nuns and altar boys working at the bake sale also reportedly used spells on customers to try make them forget about the Tuam babies scandal.

“Keep your eyes fixed on my pocket watch. Listen to my voice. When I snap my fingers, you will forget about all the terrifying things we have ever done…” were amongst the tricks used.

“We sold a lot of cakes today.” said Fr. O’Reilly. “Next time they find out something bad we did, we’ll probably have to give out free pints or something, which might be expensive. I’d say we’re not made of money but that’s a lie hahaha.”

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