IRA members to receive standard issue Burkhas to help conceal weapons – Minister of Bombs

IRA Minister of Bombs (more formally Minister of Carbombs, Pipebombs and Suicide Vests) Aidan O’Rourke announced today that in an effort to modernise his insurgency, “All IRA members are to get a standard issue Burkha to help conceal their weapons, be it bombs or assault rifles.”

“We need to keep up with the times, it’s as simple as that. We keep getting caught carrying guns around because the Brits are cunning folks. The Burkhas should help our boys in the field blend in more, allowing them to carry anything from a small copy of the Proclamation to a 20kg suicide vest.”

burqa_camo
The standard issue burkha of the IRA will be phased in at the start of next year

The Burkha, as seen above is camouflaged, has excellent ventilation and also features a hole for fitting earphones. Mr. O’Rourke reportedly told the designers in his Chinese sweatshop that he wanted the outfit to “be comfortable, chic and most importantly water-proof for the Irish weather.”

IRA members old and new have reacted positively to the new uniform. “Ah yeah, it’s good we’re finally making an effort to change something. Even if we don’t get into all that uprising craic again, at least it looks good and is comfortable!” said a young member wishing to remain anonymous.

“It’s what Pearse would’ve wanted.” expressed an anonymous veteran.

Camouflage Burkhas will be handed out to everyone in the “IRA Lads” Facebook page and will also be available on Amazon for $19.16. Use promo code ‘ERITAS16’ to avail of a 20% discount.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s