Local woman Instagrams third selfie this week

Co. Kerry woman Marie O’Halloran has posted what appears to be the third selfie of her this week. This most recent post has sparked controversy amongst her “friends”.

“Who does she think she is? I’ll tell you – a fucking bitch!” said close friend Laura D’Arcy. “Honestly, it’s just fucking desperate at this stage, it’s obviously an attention-seeking post. And those captions she’s been putting: ‘You have to look through the rain to see the rainbow’, ‘Always be yourself’ or my favourite ‘Live laugh love’. I think the only thing worse than the captions is her lack of hashtags. What a hoe, thinking she’s all this and all that. We’re still good friends though.”

Another friend, one who has known Marie since primary school, only had one word to describe her old friend: “Slut.”

Both women stressed that they are still besties with Marie and the three will be going on holidays to the Bahamas this month, but threatened to continue being salty if she posts any snaps from their holiday. “I will stab her and drop her in the ocean if she posts anything while we’re abroad. I will do it. Only because we’re friends and I care about her, though.”

Even Marie’s finance has sided with her friends on the issue, warning that his significant other will face sanctions should her social media patterns continue. “I dare her to post another ‘cute’ relationship picture. She already added 532 pictures from our weekend at her parents’ house. I can’t deal with all this, it’s why I carry a taser, in case she gets too fond of Instagram again. I love her to bits though, we set our wedding date to December 14th!”

Garda Commissioner Dick Moore has admitted that Marie is under police surveillance, not for protection from her psycho friends and family, but to have “at least three different snipers pointed at her at all times if she even so much as considers posting another image online.”

Even Facebook CEO and founder, Mr. Zuckerberg has complained that Marie’s “Girls night out xoxo” picture folder takes up 34% of all server storage.

Follow Eritas News for more updates.

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