US Congressman says nothing during 20-minute speech to avoid offending anyone

After being asked to address Congress, US Congressman Keith Edwards did not open his mouth once during the 20-minute time period he was given so as to not offend any person, race, religion, gender, ethnicity, political party or horoscope.

Mr. Edwards did not even look up to avoid eye-contact with his audience, but this still somehow managed to spark controversy – one Republican said “It’s no goddamn wonder we’re falling behind China! When he doesn’t look up from the podium, he’s sending a message of weakness!”.

Others, however, praised the Congressman for being so considerate: “I think it’s great that finally someone is being thoughtful around here!” said self-proclaimed activist and liberal Tony Stein. “A lot of people just don’t think about other people’s feelings nowadays, which really sucks because we’re all delicate petals. I hope I didn’t offend anyone by what I just said and if I did I am deeply sorry.”

People on social media have also been split on the issue, with many people tweeting empty tweets in support of the Congressman, with others going out of their way to offend every possible group of people.

 

[We hope this article did not offend anyone and if it did we are deeply sorry.]

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